Searching for water

This summer has been so hot. It could be because we are in Arizona where the temperatures are always above 100 degrees in the summer. I have been incredibly successful in being able to appease my “Capricorn rising” by maintaining several gardens. My nightshades are growing incredibly, and I have baby foxglove that seem to be doing well. There are two new mystery plants in the yard. I am so excited to see what they are. They look like nightshade so I am hoping for wild Datura. 

Since it has been so dang hot I haven’t been able to walk down to the pond and feed the ducks. The blue heron hasn’t been spotted in several weeks, and to be honest I haven’t seen any vulture either. Tuesday my husband decided to surprise me, we drove and drove to the north east of Phoenix.  There was a beautiful body of water. Though I went to high school in Arizona I have never been to the Salt River. He knows that I am itching for a trip up north to drink the cool waters of Montezuma’s well, but time and finances are currently preventing it. 

When we arrived we started to explore, sadly to say it was so hot we didn’t get to stay long, but the short time was worth it. I felt so close to home, so wonderful to be right by the water, a natural body of flowing water. There were HUGE fish swimming close to the bank, and of course less than 5 minutes from being there, what did I find, a wonderful and very clean bird skeleton. It is a wonderful gift, a wonderful reminder that I was exactly where I should be. I thought it very symbolic that here we are right after Lammas, headed into the dark side of the year, and there was a beautiful reminder of both death, and birth.  

Lammas was very rough for many of my friends, with mercury in retrograde and a full moon, it was quite potent. I suffered from much emotional turmoil, the looming feeling of the cycle of death right in front of me. It made me think, ponder, and reevaluate what I wanted out of my spiritual life.  Sometimes it is just time to fly on your own.  Don’t get me wrong I will continue my studies, just I have reevaluated how I will study, how I will handle things, and what direction my path will take me. I have felt that I have kept a security blanket of sorts, constantly looking for approval from my teachers, hoping that my work will please them and is up to snuff.  Having the security blanket in place was more of a hindrance; it was almost like it was clouding my path. The events of Lammas really shook the ground from underneath me.  I feel fresh, I have a whole new drive, the path has been made clear and onward I go. (More on this later sorry to be cryptic but when I tell you it is going to be awesome!) This quote my Jason Silva really sums it up. Sometimes the only thing that can create life, is death its self. 

Return to things that are meaningful and bathe inside of it. Return to things that are important. See the world in a grain of sand, heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, or eternity in an hour. Shake up the rug out from underneath your feet. Disruption makes things new again, it makes ideas fresh. Return to things that are meaningful and bathe inside of it, partake in those things that will somehow make us come alive ~ Jason Silva

 Standing there staring at the water, in places flowing slowly, in others rushing over rocks, it reminded me that everything changes, it is always changing. The important thing is to flow with the river of life, slow, fast, and everything in between. This song is one of my favorite songs; it is so soulful and so appropriate of the time I am emerging out of. Sometimes the only friend you have is the moonlight, she is quite, but she is a beautiful friend.  Enjoy…….. and don’t forget to bend, before you break

Around here, it's the hardest time of year
Waking up, the days are even gone
The collar of my coat
Lord help me, cannot help the cold
Will the rain drops sting my eyes
or keep them closed?
But I'm feelin' no pain
I'm a little lonely and my quietest friend
Have I the moonlight? Have I let you in?
Say it aint so, say I'm happy again
Say it's over
Say I'm dreaming, say I'm better than you left me
Say you're sorry, I can take it
Say you'll wait, say you won't
Say you love me, say you don't
I can make my own mistakes
Let it bend before it breaks
I'm alright. Don't I always seem to be?
Aren't I swinging on the stars? Don't I wear them on my sleeves?
Went looking for a crossroads, It happens everyday
And whichever way you turn, I'm gonna turn the other way
Say it's over
Say I'm dreaming, say I'm better than you left me
Say you're sorry, I can take it
Say you'll wait, say you won't
Say you love me, say you don't
I can make my own mistakes
Learn to let it bend before it breaks
Say it's over
Say I'm dreaming, say I'm better than you left me
Say you're sorry, I can take it
Say you'll wait, say you won't
Say you love me, say you don't
I can make my own mistakes
Let it bend before it breaks
And learn to let it bend before it breaks